welovedonna.com

February 14^th, 2010 

Wow, I think this is the longest I’ve gone without an update. I’m sorry to all you faithful readers. Happy Valentines Day and Happy Anniversary to Pam & Gary Waldren. As you’ve probably guessed, I haven’t been writing because I haven’t had the strength to do so. I have a couple of good days here and there but they are becoming very rare. It’s funny though because what I call a good day now, would have been called a pretty bad day 4 months ago. Right now I’m totally dependant on my husband. I can’t get out of the chair by myself, can’t roll over in bed, can’t even get up from the handicap porta potty. It sucks. My Parents arrived for a visit last Sunday and were supposed to leave today but decided to stay for a while due to my condition. My Sister and Grandma upped there visit to tomorrow instead of the end of the month, and Michael’s brother arrives on Friday for a 4 day stay. I hope this gives a little relief to Michael as he could definitely use one. I am constantly asking for his help.  I don’t really understand why they all want to come out and watch me sleep as that is pretty much my day but they assure me that is ok. We are trying  a new treatment and praying that it’s the one. It’s the magic bullet so to speak. Let’s hope anyway. Michael believes it is working because of  some of the side effects are matching up and I’m expelling what they describe  as dead cancer cells. Time will tell. I did start knitting my Mom a hat today with this new fangled plastic circular device to try to stay awake and give my hands something to do. It’s been an interesting adventure so to speak. May attempt to sit in a real chair and cut some quilt squares. No guarantees though. I have developed a cough that is relentless as well. On the other hand, the fever seems to be under control so I’m not extremely worried. The worst part right now are the sores and the swelling. My leg skin can’t stretch much more and the arms are now partaking in the swelling so that just adds to the frustration.  Especially because it’s worse in my left arm and that is the side the end table is on and that makes it hard to grab things without reaching across myself with my right hand. Anyway, that’s been the life in the Handy household. I’ll try not to go so far in between updates. I just haven’t had my computer open in ages. No energy. Please don’t give up on me though.

January 6^th, 2010 

Ian woke up yesterday with pink eye. Poor guy, I know how that can hurt. I immediately sent him off to his dad’s because I know just how contagious this can be. He went to the Dr. and says it’s healing up but they want him out of school until Friday. I’m sure he doesn’t mind. He’ll survive but I’m not sure his grades will.  Monday and Tuesday, my fiend Rachel came over to be my caretaker. It was very nice of her and she said she had a good time as she usually doesn’t slow down long enough to enjoy the silence in the day. She starts her new job in hospice care on Monday and judging by how she was with me for those two days, she is going to do a fantastic job. I continue to go up and down. I’m back to just taking it hour by hour as things are changing constantly. I worked on getting standing orders on my platelets and blood so maybe we can make these transfusions less of a major drama and more like a simple medical procedure. I contacted the P.A. and had her do some poking & proding with my oncologist to figure out why he was restricting my blood products. Not sure we made all the progress we wanted but did move forward. So, thank you Lord. We see the homeopathic dr. tomorrow. …………….It’s now January 7^tth , I kept falling asleep while typing last night so my husband put me to bed.  I got a pretty good nights sleep and I’m up and at it this morning trying to be as normal as possible.  Still working on Christmas cards and hopefully will have them done before Valentines day.  I must go get dressed for my appointment now.  I’ll try to write more later.

December 24, 2009 – January 1, 2010 

Merry Christmas Eve to everyone. Hard to believe the year is coming to an end. Just seems like yesterday that we were celebrating the new millennium and now we’re a decade into it. The older we get the faster the time flies I think.So my parents were able to sneak out of town a night early and beat the blizzard to Denver. They hit some nasty weather around Limon but for the most part missed the worst of it. My Aunt was able to find them a hotel room at a very reasonable rate and they even lucked out more cause the hotel waived their parking fee and they didn’t have to leave their car in airport parking. They headed to the airport on a shuttle hoping to catch an earlier flight and the good Lord was with them once more as they were able to get on the 9 am flight. A full 12 hours early.  ………………………

Fast forward to New Year’s Day.  As you can see, my intentions were once again in the right spot but then the energy level died off and then completely disappeared.  In other words, I had a very tough week.  I got a call on Christmas Eve letting me know that I needed to go to the ER for platelets and blood. I didn’t want to spend Christmas in the hospital and we needed to try to get on a new schedule where I would need transfusions at the beginning of the week and not at the end. So even though I knew it would be a rough couple of days and I’d be pretty fatigued, I decided to hunker down and make it thru to Monday where I could go to the regular infusion center.  Mission accomplished. I was able to get my blood drawn on Monday and processed STAT. Then we should have been able to just call the infusion center and make an appointment but nothing can be that easy lately. Brenda and I spent the morning calling around trying to find out where the standing orders were for my transfusion. The blood draws had been ordered by our infectious disease dr. but we were having a hard time getting an order faxed over for transfusion. So the infusion center called the oncologists and everything went south from there. I swear this man is trying to kill me. He said he’d send over orders buy he changed the parameters. No platelets unless I’m below 10. It was 20. No blood unless it’s below 8. It was 8.5. He wouldn’t budge either. So I decided to pick my battles and I’d deal with it later as I was well below those parameters now. So they infuse me with 2 units of blood and a unit of platelets. The blood bank informed them that they had another unit of platelets available and since I was at 3 and they had time to infuse, would they like them to send it over. They called my oncologist twice and he denied it twice. I would not sign off on two units. They reminded him that they were closed Thursday-Monday and it would help carry me. He still said no and we didn’t have time to track down another doctor to over-ride it. I also found out he canceled my home physical therapy. So now I’ll be searching for a new oncologist which seems pretty silly considering I’ve been with him for 2 ½ years and that’s a lot of medical records.  Now, on to Wednesday, I had an appointment with the homeopathic doctor we choose here.  After spending some time with him discussing different options, we ended up doing an I.V. of a major vitamin mix. It took a couple of hours to drip but packed a much needed punch.  It really perked me up so they sent a bag of it home with us for today. He felt Michael had enough experience with I.V.’s  to administer it. He also sent us home with some more of that cream that seems to be magic. I put it on my sores and they look better the very next day.  We go back to see him next week. I think we’re going to start a plan to rebuild the immune system and flush out the toxins. Palladium Lipoic Complex or Poly-MVA. He first wants to tackle my malnourishment. He is very worried about my lack of muscles, my sores, and my weight which was 97 pounds at check-in. He gave me some amino acids to help build it back up and wants me juicing 3 times a day. So my New’s Years Eve drink was the juice of several green vegetables. Oh……yummy. This morning my hubby made me some fresh apple/orange juice and it was TRULY yummy. Going to have to ease into that pure vegetables part of juicing. Adding a fruit here and there won’t hurt.  At this point, every calorie counts. I just have to watch out for the sugar. Some of my meds screwed up my adrenals and we are still having to check my blood sugar levels and administer insulin regularly. I truly hope this is temporary. If I end up with diabetes after all of  this, that would really suck. I’d still be thankful to be alive but really….don’t we have enough scares from this journey?  And that brings us to Today! New Year’s. 2010. I’m feeling pretty good today. Still in a lot of pain but otherwise well. My sinuses are still swollen but my gums don’t seem to be near as sore. So I’ll be thankful for the relief, large or small. Concentrate on the positive! I did get a call today about my blood work. My platelets and hemoglobin were good but the pharmacist was alarmed this the potassium level. It was severely low. I told him I have a prescription potassium pill and he advised me to take them but encouraged me to call and get dosage from the doctor because if the potassium goes too low, it can cause heart palpitations. When I informed him that I was already having them, he suggested we go to the ER if they continue.  I took the potassium and did the bag of vitamins. The palpitations are none to minimal so I think we’re in the clear and we can see what tomorrow brings paying close attention to the little details and signs your body gives you. Well, I better close for now and get this posted before I fall asleep. Thank you for all your prayers, love, and support.

December 21, 2009 

I have been stuck in hospital hell. On my last update I mentioned that we were waiting on lab results. Well we got them. At midnight! Needless to say, I didn’t rush on it then as I knew it would be a waiting game that could be pushed off until morning. Unfortunately, no infusion center could take me until Monday so the avoidance of the ER didn’t work out as planned. So Kylie and Brenda came over and we packed for what should have been an overnight trip to the hospital. That was Friday morning. Here it is Monday evening and they are still working on discharge papers. But at least I know it will be this evening. The kicker of the whole thing is that no-one seemed to want to take charge. My infectious disease doctor was fine with letting me go the next day and so was the attending general but everyone thought it should be the oncologists call. No oncologist showed up for 3 days and when paged, they gave the run around and pointed fingers at other doctors. I just don’t get it. Anyway, as luck would have it, they found some infections beginning in my bladder and switched up my i.v. meds.  Unfortunately, for no apparent reason I started breaking out in little sores all up and down my arms and legs. None of the docs can seem to explain them but let me assure you, they are called sores for a reason. Ouch! Then to top things off, they started taking my blood sugar again and the readings were in the 3 to 400 range. Huh? So they started giving me insulin. They said the high sugar was because I was on high doses of steroids but no one could tell me why, just that I couldn’t stop it cold turkey. So after a couple of days of that, I finally got a schedule I could use and an explanation for the medication.

So I have to say, this past month has really tested me. I am definitely having a difficult time trying to stay positive. I am by no means giving up or wavering on my belief that I can beat this but it’s not as easy as it was 6 months ago. My body is not the only thing that is tired right now. My mind and my soul are taking it one hour at a time. I know from experience that tomorrow could bring about a whole new attitude and I may wake up feeling amazing. That’s what I shoot for when I lay my head down at night. Tomorrow is always a new day and God is always there to carry you.

My little sister, bless her heart, gave my parents plane tickets to come se me for Christmas. I’m very excited about their trip. It’s only for three days but it is better than nothing. It will also allow them to see Ian’s play on the 24^th. I’m still hoping I get to go but it’s going to be a last minute call.  Not sure I can risk being around that many people even with a mask.  But the video from the last program wasn’t of very high quality so I’m afraid if it’s the same company, I may miss out on a lot with him having a leading roll and all.

I am happy to say, I got my Christmas letter done. Un-happy to say, it will be after the new year before you receive it. I was printing them up Friday night when we ran out of  black ink.

Thanks for your support, prayers, and encouragement. May your Christmas be everything Christ meant it to be. Hug your loved ones and say Thank You for all the blessings you have received today.

December 17, 2009

 First off I’d like to apologize for not keeping up on a daily basis. It’s been a pretty up and down time. I’ve started several updates and then fallen asleep in the middle of typing them. They were short and humorless so I didn’t post them, but I’m sure a little update is better than no update at all. I would also like to apologize for the opening page of the website. I can’t get it to change and I can’t find the customer support number to get help. I will continue to try as obviously I’m not in Houston anymore and much as happened since I was.

Onto the past week or so. Let me tell you it has been an interesting one. Getting blood products in this town can make you feel like a vampire in the night trying to get some forbidden food. So basically, what happened is 3 lab screw ups and 2 hospital stays because of it. They were only overnight stays but still very annoying. In the meantime, I caught the cold that was going around and have been trying to deal with the stuffed up nose. The nose alone wouldn’t be too bad but it forces me to breath through my mouth which in turn dries out the ulcers on my gums making for one miserable little mouth. But this to shall pass and they put me back on I.V. antibiotics to help it along. The meds have to be given every 8 hours though and Michael got called to work for the next 3 weeks so I’m having to have a friend come over and administer the dosage. While she’s here, we try to do a little holiday baking. Well she does most of the work, I just point out where things are. The physical therapist came by twice. He said without a doubt, I was his youngest and weakest patient but not to worry, he would get me back in shape. He said the progress from day 1 to day 2 was amazing. But now I’m on day three and my muscles are feeling it. Ouch. There were a couple of times, I thought I was going to be stuck on the toilet because I couldn’t get enough quad strength mustered up.  All in due time. So basically, I’d have a really good day where I actually took care of a few things and then I’d have a not so good day where I’d pretty much be stuck in bed or in a chair just fading in and out of sleep. The good news is there have been no fevers or near death experiences. No serious hospital stays and I’m getting some good time with my family and friends. We are nowhere near ready for Christmas but I suppose it’s going to come and go whether we are or not so we’ll just do the best we can. On-line shopping just isn’t the same but I don’t dare leave the house right now with all that is out there.  Not to mention that everytime I get on the computer my eyelids seem to turn into 50 pound weights.  I really can’t even think of anything the boys need this year.  I know they would love to do some snowboarding but the season passes at Mt. Charleston have risen quite a bit and it’s such a hit and miss with the snow each year.  Brianhead is a bit larger and more reasonably priced but 3 hours away making it harder to just go up for a couple of hours and still have a day left. Driving 3 hours after a hard day on the slopes can seem more like a 6 hour drive.  Hopefully their feet will stop growing soon so we don’t have to keep updating their boots. That can get expensive.  I’m anxious for the day when I can ski again. It so much fun but definitely takes more muscle than I have right now. But all in due time.

They took my blood this morning but no results yet. We used to think no news is good news but after all the lab screw ups, that’s not the case anymore. Hopefully we’ll be getting a call soon to say I’m ok and won’t be needing any products today. That would be great. This morning was a tough one and I was sure things were off but this afternoon has picked up and I feel a bit more alive. Tomorrow will be even better I’m sure.

One last note……Happy Birthday to my sister Amy on the 19^th . Also Happy Birthday to my dear friend who created this website for me, Elisha Scrogum.

For all of you that will be traveling this holiday season, please drive safe, fly safe, and enjoy all the memories you’re making. 

December 6, 2009

Boy have I lost track of days. Not really sure what all has been happening but the hours are just flying by. I’m trying not to nap during the day so that I sleep thru the night. So far, so good. I’m feeling well other than severe pain in the legs and feet. The feet are still swollen and continue to baffle me but I’m bound and determined to bear thru it.  I believe I got home from the hospital on Tuesday Dec. 1^st.  Wednesday, we just relaxed around the house and took care of some business. Home health care came by to draw blood on Thursday and all seemed well. Then we got a call that they needed to come by again because the blood was coagulating and the Dr. wanted another test stat. How do you go from no platelets to coagulation in a day? I smell lab error.  Well for me it was no news is good news, don’t stress about something you can’t do anything about and just move on with the day. So that is what we did. Then the call came in around 9:30 pm.  My blood platelets were actually at 6.0 and I was told to proceed to the ER. Oh………not this again. Better safe than sorry though and waiting till morning wasn’t really a good option. So off to the hospital we go thinking we will just fill up in the ER and be on our way and home by morning. Ha! Blood products are just not an easy thing in the State of Nevada. We arrived, waited for a confirmation blood test, waited for platelets and then was admitted to the hospital. Yes, admitted! Craziness I tell you. Why can’t we just get these in the ER and move on? Well that’s not hospital policy. Furthermore, when we asked for our Dr. we were told we had to take the Dr. they assigned us whom knew nothing about us. We were told we would have to wait for him to come by on his rounds, check me out, go over medical list, then discharge.   I was irate.  I was just released from this very hospital less than 48 hours ago and they can’t even find my medication list and furthermore they want a new Dr. to go over it with me and likely change it.  I don’t think so. Unfortunately, the innocent nurses got the brunt of my anger and frustration.  Yes, don’t worry, I did apologize to all of them before leaving.  I’m not that cold hearted.  Long story short, enough complaining and your wish will be granted. I was able to get my Dr. in there and got released around noon. Just a short 15 hour delay. But hopefully we have some stuff figured out for next time that will make it a little easier.  I owe my Dr. so much for hanging in there with me when other Dr.s just want to run and hide and wait for it to go away.  Well, I’m not going anywhere. I’m still here fighting. Our attorney met us at the house shortly after release and we finalized a lot of stuff on our trust and life insurance beneficiaries. It made for a long afternoon but what a load off my shoulders. My sister left for Australia on Saturday and made it safely home last night. What a long flight. I’ve only done it once and I’m not sure I could do it again. The jet lag is pretty hard. But she’s a trooper and has one more flight under her belt. My parents were due to leave on Saturday but we talked them into staying and helping us put up the Christmas tree and decorate around the house. It was a great family fun day. This way, they were also able to get up early and drive straight thru rather than having to stop and stay somewhere along the way. Also traveling thru the day was better we felt because of the ice and snowy roads along I-70. There is some bad Midwest weather right now thru the Rockies. Praying for their safe drive. We did have an amazing dinner last night to send them off right. The most amazingly tender steak, baked potato, baked beans, asparagus. Oh it was an amazing little cheat my husband let me have. So other than the EXTREME pain in my feet and lower legs, I’m feeling very well. I’m trying to keep them elevated to keep the swelling down but then I’m also trying to use them as much as possible so I can stretch them out and hopefully eliminate some of that pain. And that, is pretty much what has been happening around here. Nothing too exciting which is a good thing. Home health care comes out tomorrow, so I’ll update you on any results as soon as I get them. I think I’m going to get my quilting stuff out and start cutting on my next quilt to help occupy my mind. I’m really tired of T.V. and I can do this while sitting with my feet elevated. Thanks again to all of you who continue to pray for myself and others whom have been inflicted by this horrible disease. We will find a ay thru this. Love to all.

November 30, 2009

It’s 6am and I can’t sleep. I’m just waiting for the sunrise out side of my windows. So a few updates as I sit. First and formost, The tooth extraction appears to be an airbourne gum infection. This presents it’s own set of problems but not as many as the tooth ext. By-passed another bullet there. There will be no hospice at this time either. Yeah, I’ve turned another corner. Back in fighting mode. Sunrise complete. Time to get towork. Trust & wills & Official Documents.

November 19, 2009

It’s Donna. I’m back. I believe I’m even getting released from the hospital today. Yeah! My husband went out and bought a twin size bed to put in our fireplace/reading/sewing room so that I didn’t have to climb the stairs. I assured him a camping cot would suffice but he wouldn’t hear of it. As it turns out we really needed to buy the bed anyway so when Brandon is home, Ian doesn’t have to sleep on the floor. He made a good choice. The physical therapy I had yesterday was tough at times but felt very good. I actually got my heart rate up and sweat a little. My competitive nature came out a couple of times when they offered a break but I said no, I wanted to continue. My friend Brenda came over yesterday and sat with me to give Michael a break. We needed some time together. We had a lot to catch up on. It’s been a long time since I’ve been home. Michael decided to leave earlier today because he was sneezing and had a runny nose. He said he would stay upstairs and keep the germs from the downstairs as much as possible. Man it sucks not having an immune system..…..Well now it’s the morning of Nov. 20^th, I’m home & feeling pretty good.  The care at St. Rose was very good but I connected especially well with one nurse named Barb. She took extra good care of me and made kept on top of my pain meds unbelievably well. When I got home I found that instead of a twin size mattress, I had a queen. Ok, so it’s more comfortable but also much more crowded. The boys got home around 8:00. I talked to Austin for about a half an hour and then Ian came down to visit for quite a while. He said “Geez Mom, how long has it been since we’ve had a face to face conversation?” His recollection was  late summer because he was sick and sent away last time I was home. He said their jazz company was accepted for tryouts to “America’s got talent” and he was very excited. They had learned a new move last night that he was having problems with but knew he could master with extra practice. I know my legs won’t stretch like that. His Tuesday night class has three boys in it that all play in the cirque de sol le show on the strip called “Beatles Love”. He has no doubt he will be playing in a show on the strip when they win “AGT”. I told him to keep up that positive attitude and practice and anything is possible. I had no doubt he’d be there also. I went to bed around 9:30 after running a low-grade temp. Unfortunately, I didn’t sleep a lot because of night sweats. I had none of these in the hospital so I’m not sure why they decided to rear their ugly head now. I changed p.j.’s 3 times before I decided the heak with it and just slept in the wet ones for the rest of the night. Woke up with the boys but just communicated from bed. I haven’t actually gotton up to sit or anything. The walks to the bathroom have been painful enough. I read for a while, took care of some phone calls and business, and worked on important paperwork that had been put off. It’s about time for a nap. Physical therapy should be by 3 times a week and the nurse once a week. We also have an apt. with the homeopathic dr. and am trying to get one with a dentist so next week should be very busy. It’s also Thanksgiving and my parents are coming out on Sunday night. It should be a very good week with family.  The boys are looking forward to all the food so I’m going to have to convince Michael to keep it traditional and go easy on the vegan food. I don’t think one day is going to kill me either. Especially since I don’t eat enough to fill half a plate.  Well I best get this published and take my nap before my husband finds more work for me to do. Thanks to all of you for all your prayers and comments………..Oops, I forgot to say “Congratulations” to my Brother-in-law and his wife, Matt and Monica Handy on the birth of their new baby boy, Jackson Mathew weighing in at 8 and a half pounds and 20” in length, born this morning. Sounds like it was a long hard labor but well worth it. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. They grow too fast. The picture was adorable. A perfect shaped head with a little dusting of red hair. Can’t wait to meet him in person.

………….It’s now Noveber 27^th, 2009

I’m @ St. Rose San Martin, ICU. A lot of family came in to town, see so just txt or call a Handy #, and we’ll let you know when a time slot is available………So how did I get here you ask? I see Aunt Marilyn updated you quite a bit. So it will take me a while to shore up the details, and some humor (cause you know there is a little bit in everything), and of course add all the family drama, laughs, and stories. God knows I love them all. Maybe now that Amy is back, she and I can figure out how to load some photos and change the front page. Love to all…. Update to follow as time permits.

Hello everyone, this is Aunt Marilyn again.  Unfortunately Donna’s little reprieve didn’t last long.  She actually went home last Thursday, the 19th.   In the hospital she had kept her fever down, and no longer showed any signs of a bacterial infection.

The very night she came home, however, she had night sweats.  So much so that she had to change her clothes three times during the night because she soaked her clothes.  She also started running a fever again, and I believe it got up to 103.  On Saturday she was not keeping anything down, so it was off to the ER again.

Donna is now in ICU.  Her blood pressure is way low, and she is in need of platelets.  They will not be able to give her platelets until her blood pressure comes up.  They did get her fever broke, and she is on IV fluids and antibiotics.  Her abscessed tooth continues to plague her.  She will be getting another CAT scan or MRI to try to figure out what is going on with her tooth.  They also put her on morphine last night to help with the unbearable pain. 

It is so heartbreaking and frustrating, because it appears that the tooth needs to either be extracted or a root canal done, and in her condition, the dentist does not want to do it because of the risk…both with another infection, and/or bleeding. 

Mary and Bud (Donna’s parents) left yesterday afternoon and are on their way out to Vegas and should be arriving late this afternoon.  They had planned on coming out to spend Thanksgiving with Donna and her family, and whether it is Thanksgiving dinner in the hospital or at home really makes no difference.  They will be together.   Donna is at St. Rose Dominican hospital, at the San Marteen campus.  

I know I don’t have to remind you, but I will anyway.  Please keep praying!  

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and I know you will all take the time to remember Donna and her family in your Thanksgiving Day prayers.  Donna has touched all of us in one way or another over her lifetime, and I believe particularly these last two years she has taught us all so much.  Her faith in God is unwielding.  Her persistence and determination is inspiring.  Her love for life and everyone in it is a gift God has given her.  Even when she is at her worst, she seems to be able to muster a smile and still show concern for others.

Michael has continued to be by her side, day and night, as much as he can.  He gets pretty worn out and takes turns with his mother, Norma, in making sure Donna is well cared for.  Donna was also able to have some time with Brandon, Austin and Ian these past couple days while she was home.  Please also keep Michael, the boys, and the family in your prayers as they are all experiencing this difficult time together. 

We do not know what tomorrow will bring, so we will take it one day at a time, count our blessings, and try to do God’s will.    Donna hasn’t given up…and neither have we.  Thank you all, and God bless.

Hi everyone.  Aunt Marilyn again.I just got off the phone with Donna.  She’s still in a lot of pain, but was able to visit for a short while.  I am going to give you a brief update and Donna said she hoped to be able to go into more detail tomorrow.  Yippee!!!  That means she is feeling better!She told me that her MRI and CAT scan came back negative and she will probably go home in the next day or two.   Home Health will come by and take her blood and she will be able to take advantage of their services.More good news!  The blood culture came back negative, so the antibiotics cleared the bacteria in her blood.The neurologist came in today and tried to figure out what’s going on with the legs and arms.   The physical therapist worked on her legs, as she has been in a fetal position for quite awhile, and they feel they have basically shortened up.  It was very painful to go through the therapy, but Donna knows it is a must if she is going to regain use of them again.Her bowels are somewhat better, although still not regular.  Her appetite is good.    She’s pretty much nixed the hospital food, so Michael is bringing food in.That is about all for now.   Hopefully Donna will have a good day tomorrow and can update you better.    I know we are all anxious to hear from HER!And as always, thank you for all your prayers.  It is through your prayers that Donna is drawing strength.  God bless.